Here i am again,
after a rather long time i feel i can write again.
Tehran is so hot. 42c today and will be 44 tomorrow. i cant stand my clothes, this nasty hijab bothers me everyday and every minute and every moment of the day! hurts my body and my soul. but it doesnt keep me from being active, im not dead tired yet.
i go to work everyday, while my male colleagues wear cool Tshirts, i have to stand my heavy warm dark long clothes. i also dont forget to wear my mask, a kind of behaviour mask, showing yourself what you really are not! the first thing you learn in iran is how to "Pretend!". its more essential for life than water is! you choose a kind of role that keeps you safe. like the one i chose, a calm serious girl who doesnt think of anything but her work, someone who obeys well with a very simple routine life! and god! how much i hate telling lie! its so difficult to play the role you are not! little by little, you find out that all other people around you are wearing masks too, and you see eachother everyday and work in the same place but never have the chance of knowing eachother truly. the hope for finding real friends is lost for ever. life is so artificial. no smell, no color, no beauty.