Saturday, July 16, 2005


Here i am again,
after a rather long time i feel i can write again.

Tehran is so hot. 42c today and will be 44 tomorrow. i cant stand my clothes, this nasty hijab bothers me everyday and every minute and every moment of the day! hurts my body and my soul. but it doesnt keep me from being active, im not dead tired yet.

i go to work everyday, while my male colleagues wear cool Tshirts, i have to stand my heavy warm dark long clothes. i also dont forget to wear my mask, a kind of behaviour mask, showing yourself what you really are not! the first thing you learn in iran is how to "Pretend!". its more essential for life than water is! you choose a kind of role that keeps you safe. like the one i chose, a calm serious girl who doesnt think of anything but her work, someone who obeys well with a very simple routine life! and god! how much i hate telling lie! its so difficult to play the role you are not! little by little, you find out that all other people around you are wearing masks too, and you see eachother everyday and work in the same place but never have the chance of knowing eachother truly. the hope for finding real friends is lost for ever. life is so artificial. no smell, no color, no beauty.

24 Comments:

Blogger opal said...

I know what you mean about wearing a mask. I have to wear a mask of sorts at work and, as a result, I never get to really know the people I work with. It makes you feel separate from your own life.

8:08 AM  
Anonymous Sarah said...

I'm so glad to see you posting again. I've been following your blogs and I really enjoy reading them. I hope that someday you have the freedom to walk showing the world who you really are, without any mask. I think you are very courageous.

4:15 PM  
Anonymous Just a Lady said...

Hi there Fatema, well come back. But I have this question in my mind, what are you for real? I mean when you put off that mask? Unmasked, you want to be more like…………. unveiled and loud, or, oh sorry just wondering. You seem to loathe your way of life so much. What ideal country or nation do you have in mind? Please don tell me “I don need the west” cause naturally you guyz are craving for “the west” way of life. Any ways, it is up to you guyz to catch up with the west.

Look for ward to read your posts.

12:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi there. Are you a Moslim?

12:49 PM  
Anonymous displaced sufi - american nomad said...

to just a lady:

Its not that Iranians want the west, its just that the it has more basic freedoms. But that doesn't mean the west isnt messed up either.

People want freedom, not a compass direction, and dont tell me you are silly enough to believe freedom is a 'western thing'.

Anyways, to Fatema: reading your comments on this topic are pretty interesting, especially because I feel that some people where I come from feel the same way without any imposed physical masks.

7:47 PM  
Anonymous Litost said...

Why are women punished for the male libido?

I live in the west, it's not that great...my country is a dictatorship disguised as a democracy.

Are men afraid of giving women freedom? I'm not.

7:25 AM  
Anonymous Ian said...

...am a reader from Calgary Alberta Canada ... it is good to read an inside report of life in Iran versus a media managed image ... keep on blogging!!

2:19 AM  
Anonymous Amouna said...

Salam,

I wonder if you do not feel ashamed about the picture you're drawing to non-muslims. You encourage all the people who say that islam is not a beautiful religion. You should read Qur'an over and over, seems like you haven't understand anything yet.

4:51 PM  
Anonymous Arabian Nights said...

In Islam anything which is forced upon you is haraam, the Iranian gov are not following the shari'ah 100% like they claim. There are both the possitives and the negatives about the regime. however, i find it disgusting how you mix religion with culture or politics. Honey...understand the differences before you attack Islam. I wear the hijab and i love it. i am not supressed nor forced. l am liberated.No one should be forced to do something against their own will, where's the democracy? However, Its funny, how some Iranian women do not bother about understanding the importance of modesty, not for anyone, but for self respect. I suggest you read up more about Islam before you criticise it

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Anonymous John said...

Well, I know most of women are bitches (because prostitutes earned most favors and procreated most often, so it is encoded in their genes), but I don't think that behaving in a decent manner in society is "a mask". Just learn simple rules. The way you don't kill people, you don't behave in promiscuous way in society. Is this too much, or are you retarded?

2:19 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I dont think it's just Iran sweety, I live in america, and I wear a mask everyday, I pretend to love my job, and smile while im not happy inside....

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