Friday, October 28, 2005


Its not been a long time since iranian women started working outside their homes and have serious jobs. yet in this moment only 20% of us have jobs, others are house-wives or just live with their parents without being able to handle themselves financilay. fortunately this number of working women is growing as we have lots of female univiersity students (more than 50% of all students) i hope that in future things will get into a good balance and all women will work equally with men, 50-50 :)

but anyhow, when you wish a good future for yourself and your sisters, it means you have to fight for it, and try hard to change this selfish male theory that says "all high things belong to men and low ones remain women". this wrong opinion exists in most iranian men's brains! however they will finally have to leave it...


iranian culture is in transition from traditional toward modern. in traditional families, girl was trained to become a housewife and just do house hold chores, in other hand, boy was supposed to learn a skill, get a job and manage his future family. in iran today, things are different, some girls learn skills too, go to work and make money, but men haven't adjusted themselves with new situation yet. its so hard for them to see a girl doing the same job as they do, as well (or even better) than them. sometimes they tell some type of jokes, or words, obviously with the purpose of hurting their female colleagues and making the environment difficult and unfriendly for women.

and they find the easiest way for offending us, by reminding the typical image of traditional women we might be!! jokes such as this one" whats the use of your effort in learning technical knowledge? you think you need it when washing baby diapers? " and burst of laugh after that can be even more annoying..

but in fact, in opposite of what they think, its men themselves who should feel ashamed when remembering iranian tradiational women. our ancestors didn't let women learn anything other than house chores, and then claimed that women were good only for house chores!,,, its silly.


PS:
i dont know how the adds came into my blog comments, i just removed them.

103 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

The condescending attitudes toward working women is not just an Iranian thing, it is in the west too, even though the fascist mullahs with their damn religion are making the matter much worse there.

Right now there is a move out, North Country, regarding the treatment of women by their male colleagues in 1984. You should see that move and we are talking about just 20 years ago. So it will change in Iran soon or later too.

The adds in the comment section come from spammers and I hope you don't take the extreme measure of shutting down your comment section to just get rid of them, many blogger has done just that and I think they should not have, just login and delete them.

11:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

While pretty much everyone is working around here, there are many jobs where there is a strong over-representation of either gender, and that's being looked upon as a problem. For example, there are very few women among industry executives.

As for comments that hurt, I would suggest getting back at them with something like this: "Babies require that someone will have sex with you, and what makes you think anybody would want to have sex with you with that kind of attitude!" Should give it right back... :-)

11:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

wow eddiep...i can't believe a man is willing to say that "women ar stronger than men"...

12:49 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"modern" states are not paradise! Here in Iceland women recently protested difference in salary offered to women for the same job as men do. Women recieve only 65 % of what a man gets for the same job!!!! We have to start changing everything from the root. Start raising these boys differently and we women have to be a part of it, we take part in our own oppression!!!

6:44 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, Iranian girl - housewives aside. What are the poeople of lyour country thinking now - doing now with the trend of world opinion? It's not going so well with your country - I'm sorry to say.

It seems that your people are going to need every able bodied person in the defense. This was the trouble with your neighbor to the west - the little woman stayed back - when she should have become a warrior - like the Apache Indians. So now the people there have been utterly destroyed.

See this and learn!

You have no choice - better get going and - you women- convince your men. Because the "enemy" isn't going to care whether you are females or children.

And this means getting women into the armies. And this means giving women FULL CIVIL RIGHTS!
AND soon.

8:27 PM  
Blogger cinnamon girl said...

Great to see you blogging again.
I wish I knew how to make things better for women in Iran. You are fighting a fight for your rights that we have fought in the west for a long time too. We seem close to equality but there is still the struggle to open up the minds of the men who resist these changes. Good luck with the job.

8:17 PM  
Blogger cinnamon girl said...

I meant good luck with your new job, not the job of changing men's minds as it may have sounded. :)

8:18 PM  
Blogger purvis said...

Another poster mentioned the movie North County. I can't believe it was only 20 years ago that men could get away with sexual harassment here in America! Nowadays, if someone at my work said to me what that guy said to you, he'd be in TROUBLE. If these changes happened this quickly for us, I hope and pray they can happen for you as well.

11:48 PM  
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4:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It is a very complex thing, I have to say, judging whose is the fault for the recent gender situation in Iran. I wouldn't accuse the man because I think both men and women are strugling the same because of the situation. It was very strange thing for me to see how moms are actually raising up their daughters to be depended to men. They make their daughter's only dream to be one day to marry a wealthy husband and live a rich and easy life. They make their ambitions equal to ZERO. And it is not a fault of the men. The source of the current sitation should be traced deeper in the history, the culture, the philosophy of the religion etc.

2:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm an italian boy and I know only one thing about your country: the lack of freedom. And the reason of this blog is the aggregation of all your words. Me and others will publish your important messages to make you know in Italy. If you want to partecipate in this instrument of freedom, you can write a comment here with the link of your blogs.

You give us your words and we give you visibility.

Excuse my english...

http://blogsforiran.blogspot.com

5:40 PM  
Blogger cinnamon girl said...

Fatima, if you want to get rid of the spammers leaving comments on your site, go to the settings page I think it is, and turn on word verification. That's if you have it in your settings. It is no extra effort for the people who want to post genuine comments, but should cut down the spam.

6:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Assalamualaikum,

Muslim women have the privilege to earn money, the right to own property, to enter into legal contracts and to mange all of her assets in any way she pleases. She can run her own business and no one has any claim on her earnings, including her husband.

The Qur’an states: "And in no wise covet those things in which Allah hath bestowed His gifts more freely on some of you than on others; to men is allotted what they earn, and to women, what they earn; but ask Allah of His bounty for Allah hath full knowledge of all things." (4:32)

A woman inherits from her relatives. The Qur’an states: "For men there is a share in what parents and relatives leave, and for women there is a share of what parents and relatives leave, whether it be little or much - an ordained share." (4:7)

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2:06 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Fatema,

I really like your blog and I hope you can write more often. I am not iranian, but my significant other is. Your site helped me understand iranians a little more. I have many iranian friends in US and I was wondering have you ever thought of living outside Iran? Or, although the things are not that good in Iran, you prefer living there rather than anywhere in the world. Most of the people I know tried to leave Iran. I want to know if there are some young people that would want to live in Iran, despite the goverment. Does it depend on your social class? For example if you are rich and have everything there maybe you will not leave the country. What if you are from middle class, and it is hard finding a job, or buying a house, etc.

Thanks.

9:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Iranian Girl
I'm so pleased you have found a voice for yourself in the blogging world. Thankyou for your honest and intelligent comment on Iranian life. I was pleased to stumble across your blog. Yasmin x

2:42 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Fatema:

What a wonderful blog. I'm so glad I happened upon it. Looking forward to hearing about how the job is working out.

As an aside, it looks like your blog is being taken advantage of by individuals posting comments that are nothing more than an attempt to SPAM your blog with links to their website. I'm talking about the jobs, work-at-home, business, bad jokes, etc. comments. I delete them when they show up on my blog. These are just another example of one person taking advantage of another.

9:11 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey!

I've read your blog and to be honest, that's how many Iranian guys look at women...that they shouldn't be in the same field as them. I'm dating an Iranian guy now and I'm a medical student and he's a dentistry student and he's having a hard time accepting that we're equals but I think he enjoys the fact that we can talk about school and all our crazy subjects. But I do hope he realizes that even if I may be in a man's world, I'm still a woman.

10:55 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sorry, for posting something that is not completely related to your blog.

I'm french. And in the press releases I've read about the speeches of Iranian president Ahmadinejad, he is presented as an short-sighted extremist. It is too much well-timed, that I believe there may be some propaganda and lies in the western media.

The best thing to do, is to ask a real Iranian that has access to arabian press about the veracity of this.
Did he really deny the death of 6 millions jews during the 2 world war? Did he declare that Israel is a tumor that must be wiped out of the map?

I don't defend Israel, and I condamn murders and more than every thing, murders perpetrated by states. But I look with fear and disgust to any country leader that believes war is a solution.(like GW Bush for instance).

I'll stay tuned to your blog, and hope you will answer me.

Pedro

6:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Pedro: You said, “I look with fear and disgust to any country leader that believes war is a solution.”

Are you serious? War was the solution which save France twice from the Germans.

6:31 AM  
Blogger E Mullah الیکٹرونک مُلا said...

When I was a little kid Iran was like a mystery: Persia once the center of civilization. I dreamed of sitting in ruins and reading Hafiz. I dreamed to visit and explore but revolution changed everything. If things get better I would love to visit the center of civilization with my kids and teach them about Hafiz and the mystic and sweet Persian language.

8:18 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow! Fatema, I just read many of your posts...your blog is really filled with rich insight and feeling! Thank you so much for sharing about your life and heart in living in your country. I am from the West. A few years ago I met a young woman in Europe who was from Iran. She was highly educated, a technical person, and very articulate. We talked for a few hours and I was surprised to see the way she thought and the things she struggled with. She had struggled through many of the things you describe in growing up and finally concluded that for her the only way out was to eventually to go another country. I was sad to hear how desperately she wanted to get away from the heavy oppression she felt. It was not that she hated her country or her people. It was just all too much. This is not to say that the freedom in the West is perfect or a utopia. There is unfairness in all cultures, but in general, I feel free to be who I want to be here. Others in her family had left years earlier and were happily living elsewhere.

I have known and worked with many people from Iran and they have been delightful people to work with and to enjoy as friends. Please know that many who read your blog are thinking about you and want the best for you, wherever you live and work today and tomorrow.

You are a terrific writer. You have eyes to see details of life and express them in an easy and open way that invites me as a reader to enter in and really think. Thank you! This is the first time I've ever left a note on a blog site, so you've done a great job. Thank you.

Good luck in your new job...engineering is cool.

2:25 PM  
Blogger cooper said...

It's so great to me to see the yearning for freedom among young Iranians. I read a book entitled "How Soccer Explains the World," and one of the chapters was called "How Soccer Explains Islam's Hope." They talked about Iran getting in to the world cup and how the mullahs could not stop the women from watching. I think the same will be true for Iran in general: They won't be able to stop women from participating. This blog is a wonderful way to start!! Check out mine if you get a chance, but it still needs some work :)

9:29 AM  
Blogger Mahdi said...

We, iranians, hav a big problem and it is the fact that we always presume that the problems lie with others.We are always balming others for our mistakes.If the women are oppressed( I should remind you of the fact that all Iranians including men and women are),it is because they are bowing to the oppression. The women think they are inferior to men(or at least not so they think they are born to ne at home,they believe they have to do the chores) and it has become a norm and as everybody knows defying the norms is hard.
We Have to Change ourselves.
Keep up the good work lady.

11:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i think you look at the matter from a radical if not say "feminist" view.You know everything puts in the hand of women. it's them who can push themselves forward. i don't deny the existance of " racial discrimination"in this case but i also observed the cases when women overcomed the situation by the mere willpower and self-confidence. Anyway , it's not true to accuse all menwho treat wrong with women .interaction is a part of any job but first of all values must be respected

10:45 PM  
Blogger Elfred said...

I am thinking of eventually retiring myself peacefully in Iran, have a family and watch sunrises and sunsets. So I wish all the best in woman's struggle cos, politically speaking, if the woman can succeed, then the fundamental situation will definitely signal progress is in place.

Take it as some human bodies that male and female hormones must be balancing for tip-top health.

Stay in touch. And I must admit, Persian ladies are some of the most attractive of mankinds in this ugly mortal world.

All the best to Iran.

1:39 PM  
Blogger Shrilatha Puthi said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

3:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Fatema,

My name is Mayumi and I'm a brazilian journalist at Rio de Janeiro.

I've found your blog amazing. We live in very different countries, but you talk about universal themes.

I work for a news web site called "Globo Online" (www.oglobo.globo.com), which is very popular here in Brasil.

We want to report the situation now in Iran, from the point of view of its citizens. And we are interested to know what you think about life in your country, specially with this crisis over the iranian nuclear program.

Could you give a phone number so we can talk? Or should it be better to talk by email?

Here is one inteview I made with a israeli cartoonist, so you can know I little bit more about my work. I apologize, but it's in Portuguese: http://oglobo.globo.com/online/mundo/mat/2006/02/15/191865077.asp

Hope to hear from you,

Mayumi Aibe

reporter
Rua Irineu Marinho 70, 4th floor
Rio de Janeiro RJ 20230-023
Brazil
Phones: (5521) 2534-9660 / 5048
Fax: (5521) 2534-5764
mayumi.aibe@oglobo.com.br

9:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The worse thing that has ever happened to the human race is religion and the worse religion is Islam. I am going to be totally honest and I welcome any kind of statistics people wish to throw at me... I am a 21-year-old student in Houston, TX, USA. I am also female. I first began to learn about female oppression in my country's past and in other parts of the world around the age of 12 or 13 when I first entered middle school. Ever since that time I have been completely dedicated to helping women in any way that I can, but the problem is so overwhelming that I do not even know where to begin. The problem is also far away from me. I mean, I have never experienced any kind of discrimination for being a girl. I went to school just like anyone else, socialize with friends in public, go to work, and anything else that anyone should be aloud to do as a human being. I live in a society that allows women to be themselves and allows them the right to act as an adult and do, say, act, wear, and think whatever and however they want.
I know that it is in a man's nature to suppress the woman in their life for some reason, maybe for fear of being surpassed? I am not sure. The point is that they have put these terrible rules and regulations in place in Islamic countries and rob the rights of women just to control them and it is just plain wrong. It is a violation of basic human rights and to blame god for it is just twisted. I have so much to say on this but I know I will only end up in a ramble. I just wish I knew how I could help. I am still having a hard time believing this is even an issue at all. It is so crazy and degrading to even have to be discussing this, as women are such wonderful, intelligent, strong, and beautiful creatures that their souls should have never been shackled in such an unfair, totally unjustified, and t thorough manner. Why are men so intimidated by femininity that they even steep to the level of forcing women to cover themselves even in 100 degree whether? It is NUTS! What can be done to solve this problem in THIS CENTURY??
-SheaIdlewood Here is a link to a similar post on one of my regularly visited forums http://www.crisscross.com/jp/forum/m_395443/mpage_5/key_/tm.htm#737457

I would like to talk very extensively with you Iranian girl and my heart goes out to you. You are very courageous.

12:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Persian
Woman

8:44 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I hope that you were not the target of this :(


Iran Cracks down on the blogging



ktinga@ktinga.org

2:49 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Fatima, the whole clamping down on Iranian blogs think has made the news in the West, and i came across your blog while doing some further reading. its rather good! I'm glad you can express your true self through your blog. I'm also impressed you are an engineer, as am i, (its funny how one word can leap out at you from a page.) anyway, i dont normally post to blogs, but i just thought, you are obviously in a very male dominated society, and even more so in engineering, but i hope you are happy solving the problems and doing the best job in the world!
Take care, and keep up the work of telling the world about yourself!

Aaron

12:25 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Smart Independent women are wonderful!

As a happy, well-adjusted man, I desire to see as many smart and independent women in the world as possible. Congratulations for getting your head on straight about gender issues early on.

Women with technical know-how are some of the attractive women I know and love.

I hope you find a relationship with someone who is able to encourage and cherish you.

12:17 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I just want to warn you about the hidden side of feminism. Especialy if it is applyed to the country with oriental mentality.

The menhood attitude to the smart and independent women is insidious. Men thierselves are very sensitive to the part they act in the 'men' world. And when they watch a strong woman they want to put her down coz they are not on the top anymore. This kind of behavior just proves thier disability to show thier superiority in another way except manifesting a sausage what is between two legs.

Every one knows how cunning an offended one can be to survive in the changing world. And males now tell you 'You love to be a strong one, you love to earn money and live a life of independence? Perfect! Do it!' And you are allowed to fight for the place in the world!

But do not forget (!) that this is still the 'men world' and you have to play the 'men rules'. Before you could say "I Am Free" you notice that men do not care for paying bills, they take money from you, at the same time you lost your health doing your best to be on the level, and you still do washing, hold a house and a Man on the top of your young shoulders. The Man is again on the top and they will always be on the top.

Are you tempted with the picture?

I should tell you that you can see this picture here in Russia. It has being expanding for 15 years.
But one thing. Russian women did not fight for being independent. We were forced to become self-supporting, were forced by the political and economical situation in Russia.

Think well what you are fighting for?
Have you ever thought what for russian women are leaving Russia to arabic countries? Because your men give the feeling that you are protected and the men care for your life. Lot of russian women are tired of being leaders, they want to be loved and hold the beloved house.

Let men be men! Let them earn more money than women earn. Let them be winners.
Remeber the greatest women as Kleopatra and pharaonic wifes? Just sutisfy the 'manhood sausage'and very likely you will get a manager position in his monopoly.

Manipulate them, but not fight them I beg you.

7:09 AM  
Blogger Joseph Salomonsen said...

hmm hope fatemeh is safe...plz tell us ur ok :)

4:15 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

sorry for the comment, but Fatemeh seems did not fasten her hijab tidily as well as her way of freethinking. I mean this is quite dangerous to do in the country like Iran. Hope, Fatemeh, you are just busy with your work and that is why you have not appeared on-line this long

6:51 AM  
Blogger Coach Mark said...

Nice site you have here and good luck to you and please keep doing what you are doing.

7:25 AM  
Blogger dbquijano said...

seriously, did you get thrown in jail or something?

7:09 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

salam.man ye iraniam.mesle to.omidvaram irani balad bashi.etefaghi webloget ro didam.man 16 salame.englisim bad nist.eftekhar mikonam ke ye irani chenin weblogi dare.

hi, i'm an iranian,like u.i hope that u know persian.accidently i entered ur blog.i'm 16.my english's not too bad.i'm proud of u.it's really great that an iranian girl has a blog like this.i'll comeback again.bye

4:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Very fascinating to find your blog and read your views on your part of the world as a woman.

Amy in BC Canada

7:41 AM  
Blogger KrisinHawaii said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

8:12 AM  
Blogger KrisinHawaii said...

Fatema, please come back...It's been more than six months since you posted--

And my view is that in certain societies, men secretly fear the power of women and that's why they try to oppress them.

As one commenter mentioned it was not that long ago that men could get away with sexual harrassment on the job. Today, no more.

I like your spirit! Fight on.

8:15 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm a 50 year old man from Texas. I just learned about your blog today. I spent an hour reading all the entries.

Keep it up. I very much enjoy reading what you have to say.

2:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I know things must be difficult for you in Iran, but I am amazed at your spirit. The world needs people to stand up to old-fashioned pressures. Keep doing what you are doing. You have the support of a lot of people around the world :-)

7:11 AM  
Blogger Sliver said...

Visit Observatório da Jihad
http://www.observatoriodajihad.blogspot.com/
Best regards

1:18 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

check this out,English learners!
http://ocardina.mihanblog.com/

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9:17 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

salam
khoob hastin , man vaghan az weblog shoma lezat bordam , baraye hamin mikhastam bedoonam aya shoma mikhayn ba man tabadole link konin ?
mamnoon , man kheyli khosh hal misham
http://azmp3.blogspot.com

11:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

salam
khoob hastin , man vaghan az weblog shoma lezat bordam , baraye hamin mikhastam bedoonam aya shoma mikhayn ba man tabadole link konin ?
mamnoon , man kheyli khosh hal misham
http://azmp3.blogspot.com

11:45 PM  
Blogger A. M. said...

In my work as a journalist in Tehran I come across many independent, working Iranian women. With the increase in women's education in Iran (and other social factors like a high divorce rate) I think we can expect to see women pushing further and further into 'traditional' male environments. Good for you! I hope you'll look at my new Iran news blog: http://www.angusmcdowall.com

2:21 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

best

9:37 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello from Finland!

We have had general and equal voting rights for women over hundred years. Ever since all aspects of society have treated different sexes more and more equally, so that today, there is no difference at all. In fact, women don't have to go to army while men have to, so they are actually better off.

Keep tight, dont give in!

1:37 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm in usa - married to a man who grew up in iran.. from my experiences with his family and other Iranians it seems the women are in charge and they call the shots. They let the men in their family feel like the boss ("agha muhandez")but they aren't really. Does this seem true at all??

5:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

best wishes from germany
keep your blog up, iranian girl, it's too nice !!

5:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello from Australia. Congratulations on your English. It's not too hard to track IP addresses so I hope you are safe publishing your blog. I think the trouble with Islam is that the Koran is not able to be changed or open to interpretation. We are not in the 7th Century now and many parts of the Koran need to be ignored. That's what happened with Christianity and the bible. We don't take it literally and sift out words etc. which are obviously not applicable to the 21st Century. I can't imagine having to wear the hijab and be dominated by men. So hard for you - good luck and I'll bookmark your blog. .. Aussie girl

1:25 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

fatema_iraniangirl@yahoo.com

Your an engineer, you can always move out of wretched tehran, and
perhaps go to NY. Change your name and even have some cosmetic surgery.

Wonder if you'd be any loss to the nation, culture,religion and civilization
you hated so much.

what's with your email? why close it?

11:17 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

am glad you can complain, you have the time to think and express your
disappointments. Well, yes you are among the fortunate. think and express your disappointments with eloquence.

I wonder how can you bear seeing yourself in a mirror, and finding an iranial girl look straight back at you. Your an engineer, you can always move out of wretched tehran, and perhaps go to NY. Change your name and even have some cosmetic surgery.

Wonder if you'd be any loss to the nation, culture and civilization you hated so much.

Congratulations! Ur blog is very elating to non-iranians who have all the ideas about ur country, nation, culture and civilization.

Your the best poster-girl for damning your own country, nation, culture and civilization. Congratulations!

You make most of the world happy!

11:25 AM  
Blogger Nadinha said...

This blog is very interisting.
Thank you for your statement.

From Portugal

2:04 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Iranian Girl, I am a Grrrl(Post-feminist that hates male dominated art/music Scenes etc) from Germany and I am very intersted in Iran(political studies) and in global women´s rights.

I also write a zine, together with some friends: www.riot-zine.blogspot.com

best whihes, and I will go on reading soon!

10:17 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Iranian Girl,

I hope so much that people from the West do not hurt you by discrediting Islam all the time.

I have read through a couple of comments and I, time and again, get angry at how they tend to look down at "your" religion and the explanations they try to give you ( thats so weired, I think you know much better then us what is what). Do women´s right definitly have to do with Islam? I don´t think so. In my father´s generation (born 1941)there
were families who forced theyr girls to become nuns and they chosed men for their sisters. In my father´s youth women in Italy had to wear veils too. I know an Christian extremist who was wearing a veil for many years. Did you know that in Guatemala they massmurdered women (2004/2005/2006 femicide) and this country has was Christintised by the Spanish. In addition to this, women let themselves be opreated on many times more than man and earn, most of the time, less money sometimes even 22 % less in Germany)

I know many firm believers of Islam and I(agnostic---don´t know whether ther is a God) really appreciate them as friends because we share a common sense. When we have discussions it does not whether in which God we believe.

Lackin/arbitrary values can by very painful either as men , here, suggest you how you should look (high heels, blond hair, thin and fragile) like , and how you should behave --they tell you ,indirectly, by rejecting or accepting you.
It is very hurtful when boys stay with you as they want to exploit your sexual attracktivity only and then leave you after a year or something(and you have put so much effort into the relationship). It is abashing when you have sex with somebody who was nice with you for an evening because he needed a good f***

I am with somebody who, this is how it seems, really likes my personality. Before we were going out I had been going through hell because of men who did not know any morals. They were pulling a fast one with me.Thus, being a women in the west can be very tough. Probaly very diffent from what women in Iran experience but live is not a box of chocolats for many of us though.

Good luck and best whishes, annabell

10:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Iranian,

it is me again as I found out someone from India was on our Grrrrl Zine Blog. It is plausibly cuz I left a comment here. I get very angry at all these Christians and Western smartarses who try to tell you anything bout your religion and their interpretation. They leave a shit load of stereotyped notions on your blog. Of course there are statistics and numbers whith which you can prove things empirically but this does not mean that they gain insight into everyday life. Of course Iran is an islamic country but: do they know thet that the state cannot control anything you do? Do they know that Iran has a puralized society ? Do they know the gap between North and South Teheran?Did they know that there have been problems in translating the presidents speeches? Between rich and poor, liberal modern and fundamentalist? Do they know about the influence students exect over the president? Do they know that the majority of Iran is younger than 30 years and that US agression causes a rally round the government?

Best whishes, annabell (www.riot-zine.blogspot.com

4:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello there Fellow Blogger.

Firstly, Lots of great comments. Read most of them.

Secondly, install a script to block more of these spammers. :)

Thirdly, Wow... what a great post. Finally a discussion on Women's rights in Iran. I was born in Iran and have lived there for the first 12 years of my life. Currently, I reside in Vancouver Canada. My wife is currently in Iran studying Computer Harware at university and she tells me regarding her personal encounters with males and their egos in Iran's social circle.

She has told me of numerous persoanl cases where males are given far greater status in teh social circles than females. In my opinion, and her's as well, it's basically boils down to Education and Strength.

Education, becuase the more women know about the world around them, the more they realise what they are capable of (and really how much power they have over men).

Strength, becuase if women were to unite, even in small cirles or small social groups, they could present a deep punch to the social status of the current iranian culture.

It is vital for women in iran to find out the right path to equality and how to grasp it. In the workplace, little by little, change has to happen.

But more importatnly, in the house of the standard iranian family, women need to show men what they are capable of and how they can play their role in the ideal iranian lifestyle.

Be strong, for change will come.

"Everybody wants to do something to help, but nobody wants to be the first." Pearl Bailey

"The most useless are those who never change through the years." Sir James M. Barrie


And most usefull of all by Marcus Aurelius (121-80 AD), A Roman Emperor and Philosopher:

"Observe constantly that all things take place by change, and accustom thyself to consider that the nature of the Universe loves nothing so much as to change the things which are, and to make new things like them."


With the most humble thnks for this discussion and the praise for the future ones, Hossein Rajabi, husband to the most beautiful women, Setareh Sadeghi, Vancouver, Canada.

11:02 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Iranian Girl, I have found some research results on women in Iran:

Voices of the Future � The Aspirations Of Youth, Women, and Laborers

The power of Iran�s young people will play a defining role in the future of the country due to sheer demographic strength (about two-thirds of the population) and their growing drive for personal liberties. Young Iranians are staging a non-violent but potent counter-protest calling for economic and political reforms through demonstrations, fashion, and music. Young people are said to be responsible for the pro-reform victories in the presidential elections in 2001 and 1997. Over the past few years, scores of Iranians have taken to the streets in open rebellion; most of these demonstrations have been led by students.

Women are a potential powerful source in Iran. Countless women have been arrested, imprisoned and executed for their efforts in the struggle against fundamentalism and theocratic government�s strict laws that shape political and cultural life. After Iran�s Guardians� Council barred 89 women candidates from running for the Presidency in June 2005, representatives from 12 women�s rights groups formed Iran�s Women Activist Movement. Also in early June, hundreds of women staged an unauthorized demonstration in Tehran protesting sex discrimination under Iran�s Islamic leadership. Women also express their desire for freedom through silent fashion statements that pack a powerful message, such as by wearing pink coats, sweaters, headscarves and bags. Given that women make up 60 percent of all university graduates in Iran, it will be impossible to ignore their growing demands for freedom and reform.

Although Iran is a member of the International Labor Organization, the government does not allow workers the right to strike or bargain collectively. In the face of degenerating economic conditions, the Iranian labor movement has been struggling for the right to form free labor organizations.

* Teachers have staged a number of demonstrations and sit-ins in recent years to protest low wages and poor working conditions despite threats and the arrest of the director and spokesperson of the Iranian Teachers� Trade Association.
* In early 2005, the Committee for the Creation of Free Labor Organizations obtained several thousand signatures on a petition calling for the right to organize trade unions.
* Despite the events of the 2004 May Day labor rights celebration, in which 40 workers were arrested and seven activists were interrogated for 11 days and now stand trial, Iranian laborers attended rallies throughout the country celebrating May Day 2005.
* Employees of Tehran Public Transit demonstrated in front of their newly organized Union in May 2005 to support their representatives who were attacked and beaten by members of Hezbollah and the Islamic Labor Councils.

Iranian youth, women, and laborers have aspirations for a better future. The United States supports their desires to live in freedom, to enjoy their human rights, and to determine their own destinies.

9:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Salam

Although I'm male I understand what you're saying but it has to be said that supression of women's right is not from Islam. Woman have the right to work, their money is their own and they can even ask their husbands to pay for the house work.

The other thing is that Islam gave women the right to be Qazi's (Islamic judges) 1400 years ago.

Another thing that is surprising is that one Iranian woman here in London was telling me the other day that plastic surgery in Iran is big business which I didnt know!

Keep doing the good work and let me know what you think of my blog!

Take care

Naveed

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11:16 PM  
Blogger Yassin said...

Thank you for posting, I had no idea so few women in Iran were able to find employment.

5:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

As-salaamu alaykum, Fatema. I hope all is good in Tehran. We're awaiting your next post. :O)

9:48 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nice blog.
well done, keep it on ...

2:44 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think and believe that this kind of attitude that you mentioned towards Iranian womens is going to be changed little by little. As you know it takes time.SoI think it's better to be more opptimistic about men and help them to change their mind.

3:31 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi!
Im an iranian-italian girl. i think that ur blog is amazing. I have a blog too, but it isnt in english, and, unfortunatly i cant write in farsi. I would like to stay in contact with u, to talk more. I spent one year in tehran, but I didint find young people intrested in politics and social problems. send me and email anita89@ciaoweb.it , if u want ^^

3:28 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You're dead on correct.

4:22 AM  
Blogger sickofiraniansssss said...

Listen Iranian Girl, first of all your attitude towards iranian women working isn't just your fucking problem so get over yourself. Why do you Iranians need to make such a big deal out of everything?! Nobody asked what you thought, so keep ur mouth shut!

6:57 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

have you been to this hijab store by the way www.muslimbase.com

2:34 AM  
Blogger Omar Kalb said...

Hello brothers and sisters
In sweden right now is a big debate over Lars Vilks cartoon dogs as prophet Mohammed. Because of the critcisism (complains) from conservative muslisms in scandinavia.
He have received deadly and daily threats because of his mohammed dogs. Alot of
non professional art perfomers have done their own mohammed dog and shown
them on their internetsites.
I have collected a few, to show that its free to non muslims to make fun of prophet Mohammed.
This page is probably offensive to a traditional or conservative muslim but for the humorist and open minded it might be of interest. But remember the images have sexual, dog and pig content.
The adress is http://imamislam.blogspot.com/ i also have my email adress if some want to add another dog or complain.
I am not interested in strange sexual ideas, i am a married man, studying have soon two children.

Best regards "Imam Islam"
---blog name
"allahu akbar" :)

9:58 PM  
Blogger S H A H said...

Hi fatema,
Im Iranian but i live in cairo, inshaa allah I'll visit iran the 1st time in my life after Ramadan, I hope to help me where I go and the best places there in Iran, I'll be in shiraz airport, sorry my freind, i cant speak persian and my blog is arabic:)

im wating for your help...

all my freinds here told me that i have to go North of Iran like: Karaj...right?

salam

Shahram Karimi

12:23 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

The May 15th Prophecy is the only thing that has gotten everything that going on in the Middle East 100% right and is giving exact detail as to where all this is headed

The May 15th Prophecy shows how the United States is losing and will continue to lose their vital national interest and influence on a military scale.

And most important the May 15th Prophecy correctly shows how Iraq is being helped to prominence by the like of Iran, Lebanon and Syria and European nations such as Italy, Spain and Germany.

You need to see this for yourself at http://lastdaywatchers.blogspot.com

Everyone is talking about the May 15th Prophecy

1:40 AM  
Blogger Roberto Iza Valdés said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

5:48 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have to say the men you are describing are not at all a typical Iranian man; at least it was not like that before and I am sorry to hear that things has got worst in Iran. Those men should sham of themselves and they should not call themselves an Iranian, as they have not learned any things of the Iranian culture. I guess you are much younger to remember that Iran has not always been like that. Looking into your country’s history you can see that Iran was one of the first countries who had women as Army Generals, Member of the Parliament, Minsters and many others key government positions. Ok, you may say that was long time ego and many things has changed after Islam came to Iran 1000 years ego. Of course you have some point there but you should not forget that even during the 1960’s Empress Farah Pahlavi as a free Iranian Muslim woman becomes the symbol of the women rights movement not only in Iran but also in the Europe and many other countries. During her reign, women played an increasingly important role in public life. Parliament deputies, senators, ministers, ambassador, lawyers, judges etc., women were in all high national and local instances and occupied important positions in all areas of the administration. The emancipation of women as well as the economic and social reforms which took place deeply modified the structures of modern Iranian society.

So you as an Iranian woman should be pride and look at in your history as you have so many references to see how to over come this difficult time. And I do believe that you are doing right as the best way to overcome biases is education. And as a researcher who visit Iran regularly I can say that been there recently you can feel the wind of change. So hold on and keep on doing what you are doing…the time will get better soon.

6:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Very interesting weblog and even some very interesting comments, however if you are interested of the Iran’s economic policy that would be nice to look at http://www.iranspolitic.blogspot.com/ and add you thought too.

See you

7:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

well, it is one of the ugliest things when men start those silly jokes (another is when older people think that aging makes them wise without any effort:)), but a thing I would add:
to be a "modern woman" first seems fun and exciting, then hard though worth striving, but in the end, just really sad. here in central europe most of them end up as nervous and hard driven people, posing the question "what the hell I've been doing all my life?" around fourty without a family or anyone to talk to. I dont think this is what you want. traditional societies are far better for ordinary people who want nothing more than a place to sleep well, a job to do well, a god to serve well, people to love. and with enough intelligence and courage one can always escape the good old ways if this is really what (s)he wants.
shab bekheyr.

3:58 AM  
Blogger Naj said...

Fatema, I think you are not maintaining you blog anymore.

Misogyny is not solely an Iranian phenomenon! Iran has a large population of matriarchs! Remember from history, the influence NAser alddin shah's mother had on Iran's politics?

Or have you paid attention to the women in the northern provinces of Iran? (think of Bashu, the little stranger) ...

Iranian women have been on the playfield for at least 100 years ...

5:12 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello dearest woman of this earth,

I wanted to encourage you to fight for your rights. You and every other woman deserves them! I am from the West and I know it has been a struggle (and still is) for women to get equal rights. We are told the same crude jokes of being a housewife and to those jokes, I ignore them. The person who is saying it must be an ignorant person and so therefore I will pity his/her inability to see truth. I am PROUD of you for what you do everyday! You are fighting in small ways to gain for your sisters and children what you could not have. Keep it up! Life is hard, but don't let it get you down! You can do it! All the best wishes for you and your Iranian sisters!

9:01 AM  
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1:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Islam is the relegion who have more woemen rights then any other relgion.

12:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i found your blog as i was browsing google about iran.

this is a good writing as it comes from a well educated and dedicated person as yourself.

One thing to share. Its good to hear that iranian is shifted into modern life especially the women.well, when woman become so committed with life, they are actually better than men as and i personally respect one like that. keep on the good writing. To read about life, as you said...they are the best teacher

2:49 AM  
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2:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I wanted to know what you think about this blog which seem so unfair to Iranian women. Are all Iranian men like this?

http://arjang011.wordpress.com/2009/01/01/are-iranian-women-amongst-the-most-disloyal-self-centered-women-in-the-world/

Jessica Chan

9:22 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Iran have money selling petroleum and the goverment can use someof it revenues to set up more industries so that more jobs can be created, let the women be employed.

Salam

1:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Iranian Girl. Cool!

6:14 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

No matter what you say or do, you will alwayz be a worthless piece of meat that was deliver to this earths mens to worship and service them in every posible way. you do have an education? good. you do have a job? also good for you, enjoy while you can, bacause this will one day be over for you all, and everything in iran will be just like it was before. know this... we have been and still are the power of the worl, we are the ones that fight and protect our countrys, we are the ones that control society, the ones that make the rules, the laws. we are the ones that can hurt you, humilliate you, spit at you, kill you and we decide who to take to marry us. we seduce, make you fall for us and we... fuck you. cause you dont fuck us, we... fuck you all damn whores. so enjoy all you have right now, because you will have that no more few years from now!

have a great day!
=)

9:38 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello, you haven't written any new blogs for a while, but maybe you still randomly check your blog from time to time to check on comments, hopefully you do. My names Lizzie and I'm a 19 female college student from the United States. I am currently taking a class about women and gender in the Middle East. Your blog is really informative when it comes to women’s role in the work place. Not to mention what you said about having to wear the traditional dress, even though you don’t care for it. Do most women feel this way about the attire? I was wondering what your view is about why men try to belittle women, also is it just because they may feel more and more insecure about there gender role with women in the workplace becoming more and more prevalent? When things like that are said to you how does it make you feel? Do you think it is an attack on you personally or just the fact that you are a woman? Do men act in that manner in other settings as well, or just in the work place? Hope to hear from you.

Lizzie

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10:03 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Im here to inform you all that iranian girl will post no more. sadly she has past away do to an attack by a group of iranian women who got tired of her posting nonsense like this, turning the situation againt all the others. we all know that women are the lowest of the human kind and we should treat'em as they are. please let this be a lesson to those who dream of becoming better than we (The Man)i think you all should know better, especially if you say you're all smarter than us. please, please... look around you, you're all slaves and have no rights at all in this world. we make you believe you do but deep within you all know you dont have non.

6:10 AM  
Blogger C'est La Vie said...

Great blog sister,
My name is Dalal I'm from Kuwait
Woow I find alot of similarities in both our cultures
a good example: yesterday we finished our parlimantery elections and for the 1st time in our history women won 4 seats in the parliment, 2 of which don't wear hijab
the main critisim for these candidates were the hijab issue, ignoring their various specialities, degrees- most of which are professors in the University- and achievments in women political rights movements.
we can blame men but what to do when even women themselves refuse to vote for good candidates just because of the absnece of the scarf on their head?
we have this stupid saying that a woman is a woman's worst enemy
when I hear this way of thinking I just wonder: what will HER hijab benefit ME? will it improve the health care in the country? schools? infrastructure? rescue us from the financial crisis? what does hijab has to do with it?
I think that religion is a personal matter, I don't care if person Y or Z doesn't pray, or doesn't wear hijab, God will judge them not me
but the problem: even though we have reached the year 2009 ,still our people's mind is still in the 1940's mode when women were even banned to go to school
I'll add your blog to my favorites
Good luck
Khoda Hafez

12:52 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

12:46 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are a big liar.

12:51 PM  
Blogger António Eduardo Lico said...

Well, in the West (to use a general word) too, the question of women work, or not work, women do whatever men do, or not was and is still a matter that is a cause for passionate discussions.
Of course at West actual women situation is much better that at Iran. Tradition and Religion are strong obstacles for women in Iran.
Personally I think that Iranian women are very brave, they fight back to improve their situation.
Kind regards,
Antonio Lico,

6:16 AM  
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Blogger B. said...

cool blog

join my blog on Iran and its history

http://discussingaryanism.blogspot.com/search?updated-min=2010-01-01T00%3A00%3A00-08%3A00&updated-max=2011-01-01T00%3A00%3A00-08%3A00&max-results=14

9:58 AM  
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Iran is one of the most progressive Muslim countries in this aspect

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I hope the status of women will change a bit in Iran. I heard some families do not even want their daughters to be educated.

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